Doctors Orders

Well, I had to go to the doctor today to get medical clearance for surgery I'm having in two weeks. I get called in, and what is the first thing I'm told to do? Get on the scale. Immediately, I think about the fact  that I'm wearing jeans, moccasins, a shirt, a heavy cardigan sweater AND carrying my purse. Surly, they would want me to at least take the sweater and shoes off. Maybe hold my purse for me? The nurse did not instruct me to do any of these things, so I kept my sweater and shoes on, but I put my purse on the floor!! I NEVER put my bag on the floor, (up until now I guess). Yuck.

I never know whether or not I want to look at the number. I hadn't weighed myself at home in a few days, so I decided to take a peek, just to see where I'm at.

179.4

She wrote down the number in my chart while keeping an emotionless face. I know from constant checking, that with that weight my BMI is definitely now in the overweight category. I always hung out behind the higher portion of "healthy". Anyway, I got some tests done and she let me know that the doctor would be in shortly. When she left, my chart was very visible on the counter beside me, so I looked. In August, I weighed 169 lbs, and the February prior to that, I was 158. That's a 20 lb gain in 9 months. That's a good amount of weight! It's not like I'm eating fast food and heavy meals everyday. I don't understand! But that number somehow keeps going up.

The doctor came in and I mentioned my concerns, hoping he would maybe tell me that I have a thyroid or metabolism disorder which would explain the weight gain. Hey, maybe I was pregnant! And that's why I get insane cravings and am hungry all the time! …. No? None of these huh? I just eat too much. Got it.

He looked at me and said, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, you certainly don't look like you weigh 180 pounds."

Gee, thanks.

So why are women so obsessed with this number? I can't really talk, because I definitely am to some degree, but I feel like this number defines so much for some of us. Getting back to what the doctor said, no, it doesn't make me feel any better. You could tell me I look amazing, but in the back of my mind I know what my number is. If I looked exactly the same but weighed let's say, 155 pounds I can almost promise you that I might have a little more confidence. Isn't that so bizarre?

Alright, so four more days until I get back on track and get serious. And what does that mean for now? That means I'm getting in a last hurrah of all the foods I won't be able to eat soon. A last minute free-for-all, trying to get all the bad stuff in before it's only in with the good. My dear friend and fellow blogger just mentioned this process in a post and you can read about it here.

Tomorrow I will be going over diets that I have tried in the past, and decide what the winner will be for starting next week!